boy wonder. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
staystraught) wrote2014-05-16 08:45 pm
staystraught) wrote2014-05-16 08:45 pm
(no subject)
Reporting live from Haven East, RGTV News--
[Flashes of black, yellow, and red, from Robin holding the phone near his waist.]
...really doubt anyone's this squeamish, but Please turn off the vid if you have something against decomposed corpses. Thanks.
[The shot now moves to a skeleton. Part of Wally's head comes into view, making one of the stupidest faces he's probably ever made. He laughs and says "photobomb" before Robin elbows him and tries to look affronted. Note he's still holding the phone so that he can be seen elbowing him and looking affronted.
Ahem. Boy Wonder gets to his knees, pointing the camera to the grisly all-teeth grin of the dead.]
Because I've been mentored by the world's greatest detective and Kid Useless here by a very competent CSI, we've been able to conclude that dude is not only merely dead, but really most sincerely dead.
[Wally's sitting next to the corpse now, and nudges it with his elbow without actually, you know, touching it, as if he's trying to goad it into another round of Sonic Racing with him. After about a second, he decides the corpse is right, they've played enough Sonic Racing today. Obviously what they need to play a good ole fashioned fighting game, like Soul Calibur.
...no, but really:]
As far as I can tell, the teeth in the skull are permanent, but the wisdom teeth haven't come in yet and [moving the camera to the back of the skull, where sutures are visible] the separate bones in the skull are still well-defined. I'm not a coroner or anything, but if I remember correctly, the sutures don't ossify until old age, but there's still a measurable difference between childhood and adulthood. Combined with the rough height of the decedent, not to mention the paraphernalia found on the body,
[Wally pops open the disc compartment and pretends to switch discs, then sits back with a controller in his hands and starts pressing buttons, making sound effects to go with the menu screens that aren't actually there.]
Early adolescence is my best guess, for age-at-death.
But here's what bugging me.
[ Eventually, you'll hear Wally say "SOUL CALIBUR. FOUR." Then he looks over to the corpse and says "Dude, first player. Hit select." From then on, he's literally just reciting this video, grunts and lightsaber noises included.
Robin's ignoring him admirably:]
This skeleton looks like it's been dead for a while, the bones themselves beginning to decompose, but this is a Playstation 3. They're from... I think I first used one in 2007, and I don't know if that's long enough to match the way dude's been... uh, rotted. Like I said-- not a coroner. I usually see murder scenes a lot sooner.
[Oh! He shuffles the camera quickly, as though he's just forgotten something, and points to the ribcage.]
"Murder" is the word I'm using, based on sheer probability. [He points out a few marks in the bones, little cuts that look like slices on first glance, but like bits are missing on a second.]
This looks like it was done with some kind of knife. Obviously, the lack of fleshy parts makes it harder to be certain -- I won't rule out scavengers or postmortem damage -- but again, probability.
I know me and K.F. are probably the only people who actually miss watching Forensic Files, so I appreciate anyone who's listened to my half-baked analysis. Hate to disappoint but I don't really have a conclusion here. Finding a years-old skeleton with fairly modern tech that I can't be sure is anachronistic or not seemed noteworthy.
The fact that he was clutching it to his chest also seems worth pointing out. That the body was left like this might be a warning. PS3s get Internet access, so there's a motive right there-- we know the Man isn't big on information sharing. I mean, otherwise, he'd take it with him. You can still pawn these for decent money, thanks to the Blu-Ray player.
--and before you ask, no, there's no game inside. First thing we checked.
[Flashes of black, yellow, and red, from Robin holding the phone near his waist.]
...really doubt anyone's this squeamish, but Please turn off the vid if you have something against decomposed corpses. Thanks.
[The shot now moves to a skeleton. Part of Wally's head comes into view, making one of the stupidest faces he's probably ever made. He laughs and says "photobomb" before Robin elbows him and tries to look affronted. Note he's still holding the phone so that he can be seen elbowing him and looking affronted.
Ahem. Boy Wonder gets to his knees, pointing the camera to the grisly all-teeth grin of the dead.]
Because I've been mentored by the world's greatest detective and Kid Useless here by a very competent CSI, we've been able to conclude that dude is not only merely dead, but really most sincerely dead.
[Wally's sitting next to the corpse now, and nudges it with his elbow without actually, you know, touching it, as if he's trying to goad it into another round of Sonic Racing with him. After about a second, he decides the corpse is right, they've played enough Sonic Racing today. Obviously what they need to play a good ole fashioned fighting game, like Soul Calibur.
...no, but really:]
As far as I can tell, the teeth in the skull are permanent, but the wisdom teeth haven't come in yet and [moving the camera to the back of the skull, where sutures are visible] the separate bones in the skull are still well-defined. I'm not a coroner or anything, but if I remember correctly, the sutures don't ossify until old age, but there's still a measurable difference between childhood and adulthood. Combined with the rough height of the decedent, not to mention the paraphernalia found on the body,
[Wally pops open the disc compartment and pretends to switch discs, then sits back with a controller in his hands and starts pressing buttons, making sound effects to go with the menu screens that aren't actually there.]
Early adolescence is my best guess, for age-at-death.
But here's what bugging me.
[ Eventually, you'll hear Wally say "SOUL CALIBUR. FOUR." Then he looks over to the corpse and says "Dude, first player. Hit select." From then on, he's literally just reciting this video, grunts and lightsaber noises included.
Robin's ignoring him admirably:]
This skeleton looks like it's been dead for a while, the bones themselves beginning to decompose, but this is a Playstation 3. They're from... I think I first used one in 2007, and I don't know if that's long enough to match the way dude's been... uh, rotted. Like I said-- not a coroner. I usually see murder scenes a lot sooner.
[Oh! He shuffles the camera quickly, as though he's just forgotten something, and points to the ribcage.]
"Murder" is the word I'm using, based on sheer probability. [He points out a few marks in the bones, little cuts that look like slices on first glance, but like bits are missing on a second.]
This looks like it was done with some kind of knife. Obviously, the lack of fleshy parts makes it harder to be certain -- I won't rule out scavengers or postmortem damage -- but again, probability.
I know me and K.F. are probably the only people who actually miss watching Forensic Files, so I appreciate anyone who's listened to my half-baked analysis. Hate to disappoint but I don't really have a conclusion here. Finding a years-old skeleton with fairly modern tech that I can't be sure is anachronistic or not seemed noteworthy.
The fact that he was clutching it to his chest also seems worth pointing out. That the body was left like this might be a warning. PS3s get Internet access, so there's a motive right there-- we know the Man isn't big on information sharing. I mean, otherwise, he'd take it with him. You can still pawn these for decent money, thanks to the Blu-Ray player.
--and before you ask, no, there's no game inside. First thing we checked.